Monday, February 23, 2009

Good Vibrations

Yes, it was time to get dusty at none other than...And with a little inspiration for the lovely folks of Perth I have decided to release an official set of new festival rules:
Don't take off your shirt if your even semi fat, have back pimples, if you are not really tanned as at the end of the day your sunburn will make people cringe, are not willing to accept the fact that people will try to steal your shirt from its new found home (tucked into your shorts).
Don't ever dry root in public.
I presented this lass with a business card and she replied
"but its ok (to act like this).... he's my bf!"

Don't sniff on the asses of toy pandas which you have soaked in vicks the night before.

Don't take too many (if any...) pillzzzzzzz

I think that is enough rules for the rank of Perth to try to process for one sitting now I'd like to highlight some of the more positive PUNTERS (in reviews of late I have seen this word being used excessively and I am in love with the connotations in which it draws to festival goers). Below are some people I would consider to be PUNTERS...

Highlights of my day:
Spending $0
Meeting Sam Sparro in the Ladies toilets at the after party and getting to see his dirty Sanchez mustache up close!
Saying punters every 3 to 4 minutes
Getting another photo with KIM to add to my collection
Witnessing french rap (live!) at the after party
Loosing my voice
Yelle was amazing!

Shuggie at Capitol

Does anyone remember how shit Vegas Mode at Capitol was? Well its had a name change to Shuggie. Definitely would not recommend attending this event! But if you must there is some great loving and lobbing entertainment to soak up...

Highlights of the night:
Not getting kicked out of Capitol
Only spending $5

Lovers and Lobbers

Monday, February 9, 2009

Rottnest Island

Yes, this weekend my travels took me to Rottnest Island. I took my wife (Katherine Hunt, soon to be a co-writer) over for her birthday. We were marooned on the island Friday through Monday, inclusive. We road a total of 50km, which is a lot when you don't exercise regularly. We had many splendid adventures, many do not contain lovers or lobbers but are totally awesome so I'm posting them anyway.

Our Home for the next 3 nights TENTLAND!

Quokkas like totally love to make love and shit:
So do people:
Pictured Above: Wayne (who after 4 days of calling him that we found out his name was Phil) and Renae. The are true lovers and our neighbours. They are a.m.a.z.i.n.g as they have been married for 10 years and are not even bitter, drank a whole bottle of wild turkey and accused the police of pushing coke, as there is a coca cola vending machine outside.

Day One:
Swam in that beach, yeah baby!
We invited onto a boat similar to the one pictured for steak and fish, water skiing, snorkeling and wine! Best bay in the world, only accessible if your are emulating Leonardo Di Caprio. Then instead of riding to the pub we were ferried by this boat with our bikes, sweeeet!

Day Two:
Commandeered this vessel:
....and nearly died! In a nutshell drifted out to sea, dingy had a hole, digny did not have oars or a motor, held onto a cray pot rope for 30 minutes, got rescued by a man on a million dollar boat he asked his wife if they could get a divorce so he could come hang with us! =D

Embraced Pirates of the Caribbean:

Started a party here:

Day Three:
Swam in this bay and many others:
Took these photos:
We thought it was a shit, but it was a sea slug, damn!

The went to another party at the infamous "Hot Showers"

Day Four:
Swam in this bay and many others:
Went home =(

We meet a shit load of mad cunts and toasted marshmallows and ate mi goreng sandwiches with them!

Lovers and Lobbers

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Well considering this post is exceedingly late compared with other blogs/reviews, that would suggest that it will be the best (i.e. saving the best til last). This years bdo was definitely the best yet as I met two potential husbands:
If any one has this guy's number, please donate it to me so I may be the fire between his loins.
His competition:
He comes with this as an added bonus:
Clearly becuz they wear the same outfit they come like a 2 for 1. Winners for these boys: we have already exchanged saliva (well it was a one directional exchange...) and their taste in brands is impeccable (everlast, SMP, $10 rip off J-LO sunnies).

I doubt I'll be able to make the important decision so if anyone knows either of these choices please assist me in tracking them down so we may exchange life plans.

RAVERS - apart for being off their heads 99.9% of the time, they have other great traites...
Fashion Sense:
Cool Hair Ups:
Someone please embody this next weekend!

Smartly Dressed: Neck chain (glow sticks), back pack (water) and shorts with pockets (vicks, chewing gum, lollypops). Thus safely securing all raver necessary items. Though most importantly they do not wearing any unnecessary clothing items or accessories (shirts, hats... who needs sun protection? NOT RAVERS!)

Classic Lobber Looks are being displayed in the below, see if you can spot them all!The Prodigy was where the lobber loving was at:
Not explanation is needed for the above 2 subjects.

And the for the finale, a beautiful photo series:

The days positives:
- Once again lobbers want me to get drunk, dropping of 8 drink vouchers in total though I drove so I sold them for money ($40.. BARGAIN!)
- Not getting sunburn as I dress even smarter than ravers,
- Rolling in a pile of ice with my bestie (awwwww).

Lovers and Lobbers

Sunday, February 1, 2009


On Saturday, 31st January a friend and I had a BIG NIGHT OUT.
Firstly attending the cream of Perth's clubs: the deen, paramount, rise, mint and bar open.
We first chose to enter the rise (due to getting free entry cards from ravers) where I captured these lucky lobbers on digital...
Where else but rise would people be so unashamed of themselves?
Though on a positive note the rise lived up to its reputation and played at least 3 quality raver anthems in the 30 minutes we were there. Rise really is unveiling a revolution the common follower must have a complete disregard for anything that is attractive (faces, clothing, scent) and must embody this at all times.

We then moved on the mint, a part of rise dance club. The atmosphere here was very different with gangstar beats bangin' and all the hotties grindin' creating there was plenty of room for some loving snaps...
It was an a.m.a.z.i.n.g experience, which I would have never ever paid an entry fee for!

We then continued onto the paramount, there was no shortage of loving at Perth's well known club for a booty call. Example below...
Positive of going to the paramount: we didn't have to wait in line as some people who attended our school were in the front of the line (though they were denied entry we still manage to get in instantly) once inside we got flashing midori glasses and mad cunt bling midori necklaces (for freeee!) We threw ice on people who were clearly too hot to handle. Then we found gold, a unopened tampon next to the bar, of course we did what any normal peron would we dived to the floor armed with a glass of water, plunged that baby and threw it at boys that tried to grind our legs.

Then we proceeded to the deen and found a black raver...

It was now time for the first and last outlay of money for the night as we proceeded to Bar Open as we only possessed a 2 for 1 entry card we were hit up for a $4 fee each, as there was only 4 other patrons in the club (making a total of 6 people) there was no hope of any quality pictures. Though we made a few song requests and the DJ denied our requests "as they were not suitable for this dance floor" we replied with the fact "we are the dance floor!" he then played our music :D

Finally, we were fed up with these free clubs and moved on the SHAPE (for an event named Big Night Out, oh how fitting!) and the people of Perth continued to amaze me...

Oh you sexy thaaaaaang you

the chew: featured above

The highlights of SHAPE (apart from the above): free entry, amazingly cold juice (also free), pirouettes, meeting hot chip

Best things about the night:
I only spent $4.00 and ate a big bag of chips.

Lovers and Lobbers